Tuesday, September 19, 2006

I Dream In Color

Grief makes me dreams turn colors.

This week, tears and sadness flooded my days. When I finally found a moment to catch a bit of rest, my grief struck often and woke me throughout my sleep. I rarely remember my dreams in the night, but when I feel sad, they stick in my imagination.

Some psychologist reader out there might diagnose this, but I am willing to take the risk. My dreams glare with sunshine and color. The swimming pool is the color of lime jello. The flowers burst fire-engine red. In the middle of the swirling color, I find myself crying in each of the dreams. Then, I wake up sad again.

What do our dreams tell us?

Ezekiel, one of the minor prophets in the Bible, tells about his dream. He stood looking out over the Valley of Dry Bones. Some say this is Gahena, the literal “Hell on Earth” that Jesus mentioned.

That valley was full of bones; it was a former battlefield, according to some. Bodies lay there that were never buried. The bones cluttered the valley with death. Ezekiel, looking out at death, heard from God.

“Son of Man, can these bones live?”

Ezekiel answered in honesty. “Only you know.” He spoke to God, and his answer revealed his uncertainty. However, faith lives in the midst of uncertainty.

God created an army from the bones. At the sound of rattling bones, an army came forth, wearing flesh and breathing the breath of God. They were real. Ezekiel saw them in his dream.

My dreams do not shine with new life; they glare with false color. In each dream, I am shocked by my own grieving presence.

The dreams stopped when I found comfort. I haven’t thought of them again until I ran across this journal. So strange—I don’t remember any dreams since.


Blogger Caroline said...

this is a few weeks old; i found it a few days ago. still wanted to post it. . . .

3:19 AM  
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